Getting Free of the Addiction to Chaos and of Dysfunctional Self-Pity

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

There is a syndrome that I’ve become aware of in the past decade of my journey along the road less taken. This condition seems to be something that, for everyone who enters therapy to conquer the effects of childhood trauma, can slow down their progress and stop it in its tracks. The syndrome I’m speaking of is becoming and remaining addicted to the chaos brought on by dysfunctional self-pity.

That’s the topic this article is going to explore.

Addiction to Chaos Begins Early

Dysfunctional families of origin don’t know how to interact. They spend most of their time with each other looking for weaknesses and using them to keep their own heads above water. They live in a constant state of emergency, never allowing themselves to let their guard down and enjoy each other’s company. When there is the occasional and rare moment of quiet, They seem to find a way to push an emotional button and set off the sequence of events that would bring chaos to life again.

Many parents were exceptionally good at keeping the chaos going. They don’t interact in healthy ways, but rather chose to argue and remain apart. Because of the disconnect between the parents, children growing up in a dysfunctional family are constantly afraid of their parents…