How To Make Your First Therapy Session Go Well
To Ease Your Unease
The information I am about to convey is not only good for those who have a dissociative disorder, but for anyone who lives with a mental health challenge.
Those of us who have dissociative identity disorder (DID) know how important finding a good fit with a therapist is to our overall lives. But what about those who just now found a therapist? Or, what if you have needed to leave your therapist for some reason and are looking for a good one who can help?
This piece will focus on how you can make the first therapy session go well and a little bit about what a good therapist looks like.
Your First Appointment
I remember when I entered therapy how frightened I felt. What would she look like? Can someone help me? This was before I knew I had DID. I was so frightened that all I could do was sit there like a lump and shiver.
I hope that by reading this article you will feel more comfortable than I did that fateful day. Now I understand a few things that I needed during my first therapy session.
If you are like me, you will show up early for your appointment. That is totally fine as long as you don’t cause a fuss to bring attention to yourself. You should fight to keep control of your body so that the alters will not pop out in the waiting room. That would be embarrassing, disruptive, and rude.
Set some healthy boundaries for yourself before you go to your appointment, such as deciding ahead of time how far into your personal life you want to share in the first session. It is not necessary to share all your memories and alters on the first visit. Indeed, your therapist will not expect you to do so.
Be As Honest with Your New Therapist as You Can
I know, being honest with a total stranger is difficult, but if you do not openly communicate with the mental health professional you have chosen, you’ll get nowhere fast. Instead, talk to them and tell them what you feel comfortable sharing without lying or dissociating if you can.
You are bound to dissociate during your first visit. That is not a failure but shows your new therapist that you have trust issues. The therapist is first going to help you feel safe meaning self-harm or suicidality. They will ask poignant questions about your feelings about these two deadly side-effects of childhood trauma. Be honest with them so they can help you because they will not assume or know how you are feeling.
If you have not received a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder before entering your new therapist’s office but you have your suspicions, relate that to the therapist, too. Your therapist can then evaluate what your diagnosis is and choose which approach to take.
Key Things To Remember for a Positive Experience
While therapy has a natural flow, there are some things to remember on your first visit with your new therapist.
Be open with your feelings and worries. The first thing you should tell your therapist is that you are survivor of childhood violence. This will alert your mental health professional that they need to be cautious when asking prying questions.
Tell your therapist you feel nervous during your first visit. Alert them to your apprehensions and fears of entering therapy so they can relieve your stress and help you feel safe.
Don’t be afraid to question your therapist. Ask them if what you say in therapy stays private (it does) and what approach your therapist is going to take to help you.
Measure your therapist to see if they are a good fit. Pay close attention to your feelings with the therapist focusing on if you feel comfortable in their presence. Be careful not to mix up apprehension about therapy and uncomfortable feelings in their presence. If you find you have a bad fit or cannot trust this therapist, seek another one.
Tell your story at your own pace. Don’t feel obligated to blurt out your history of abuse because that would be incredibly triggering and may cause you to leave therapy. What happened to you, you will tell your story in your own time. Remember to set boundaries and share them with your therapist.
What If You Feel Uncomfortable During Your First Session? Be honest about how you are feeling and that you need a break, want to change what you have been talking about, or if you are feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to change topics and such because it is your therapy. You alone handle how your session goes, not your therapist. Your therapist is like a seeing eye dog, leading you out of danger and helping you avoid pitfalls.
Ending Our Time Together
I remember well my first session with Paula, my first therapist. I was so nervous that I had diarrhea and felt faint. I had not remembered whether she was a man or woman and could only hope she was a woman.
We entered her office and I chose a seat as far away from her as I could refusing to move when she invited me to another chair that was closer. She asked me why I was there but I couldn’t speak. I had already dissociated away leaving the room without walking.
I have no memory of that session at all, but I felt she was nice and I liked her. I decided to return. That was thirty some years ago and I have come a very long way on my healing journey.
I hope this piece has helped you to understand that is totally alright for you to be nervous and uncertain during your first therapy session. You just be you and everything will be alright.
