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Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy
In the last few articles, we have explored together how childhood trauma negatively impacts the ability to form lasting and loving relationships with a partner.
We’ve studied the impact that having trust issues, flashbacks, loneliness, body image problems and hypervigilance play in our avoidance of allowing closeness to others.
In this article, let’s talk about ways to overcome the deep-seated and devastating effects of childhood trauma, and our greatest ally, compassion.
Overcoming the Fear of Touch
For survivors, like me, just the thought of someone touching us can be terrifying. When someone gives us an uninvited hug or a partner decides to surprise us with a kiss, the alarms immediately sound in our brain.
The best illustration of what touch can be like for a survivor I have ever read comes from Stephen J. Bradley, LICSW, LMHC that he gave to Northampton Couples Therapy.
His description illustrates to those who do not understand how fear of touch works understand better what it feels like.
In the interview he stated the following:
“Imagine a stranger comes up to you that you have never met and engages in a lengthy conversation with their nose just an inch from your face.